guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
dude. I can hear the air.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
