Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
