we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
