Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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