i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
