I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
