As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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