Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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