Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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