Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
