I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
