If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
