Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
