i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
