I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
