I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
