Say something about gay babies.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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