bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
