I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
