WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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