You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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