The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
even my farts smell like vagina
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
