Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
