Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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