Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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