just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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