around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
