We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
