Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
