pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
