I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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