Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
