He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
