Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
