Don't you send me to vm
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
