She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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