I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
