I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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