I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
