I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
