there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
