so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
