after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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