If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
