Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
