I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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