that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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