I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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