come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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