the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The adults are the big ones right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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